Alabama Tracks

My last trip being pregnant was this past weekend.  I didn’t think I’d necessary be glad it would be the last trip, but after sitting in a car for 6 1/2 hours yesterday, I think the decision was taken out of my hands.  My back spoke very loudly. 

We had a wonderful time at my sister and bil’s for Thanksgiving.  Time spent with family doing a varied smattering of things from playing video games, playing cards, talking, walking, and eating, eating, eating.  I don’t recall the last time that I saw my dad laugh so hard he fell out on the floor, excused himself to compose himself, and then wipe his eyes continually even after he returned to the table to continue card play.  Mind you, this was at my expense but it was still great to see such abandon. 

Our trip up there was fairly uneventful.  It would be our return home that would be the challenge.  When we visited in September, our tire was low on air pressure as we attempted to leave.  This time, the car didn’t start.  The battery died as a result of it being 2 years old and the temperature going lower than what the car is used to.  Frustrated, I let Joel handle it with AAA and my bil.  I didn’t mind staying longer, but I did want a leasurely drive home and a longer evening so I wouldn’t be so exhausted when I did finally return home.  After meeting with AAA and getting a jump, Joel and David headed off to Walmart to get a battery.  Walmart was a bust as they don’t carry Hyundai batteries.  A few phone calls later and a short drive to the Advance Auto Parts store, a new battery was had, installed, and the guys were headed back home.  Now a new battery doesn’t seem like a big deal, but when you are in the middle of Appelacheia *(sp?) on a Sunday morning, on a holiday weekend; your chances of finding a place open, getting a tow truck quickly, etc. become very slim.  $80 dollars and 4 hours later we headed out for home. 

An unmarked detour in Chattanooga due to a fatal accident on the interstate made for an interesting unplanned tour of downtown but Joel did great in navigating and following signs.  An added 20 minutes to the total length of the trip and a little added stress wasn’t too bad after finding out the interstate had been closed until 6:00 Pm as a result of said accident. 

The girls were not sure of what to make of our return home.  Flala slept readily with me last night and Lily still remains to give us the cold shoulder.  Wanting attention but fleeing as soon as you try to scoop her up.  I’m hoping tonight will be different as we get back into the swing of things.

Six weeks to go until Ruthie will be here and there are still a great many things to be done.  I’ve got my bags to pack for the hospital, the room to finish, items yet to purchase, meals to cook ahead and freeze, and storage items to be put away.  Christmas falls in the middle and will be somewhat quieter this year.  I’ll still bake a little and Joel’s mom and sister will most likely come up for the day.  I’ve got pediatrician interviews scheduled, pre-registration at the hospital to do, and a host of Christmas parties to attend.  I’m starting to create the list today so I can start crossing things off. 

Work is picking back up so I must skedatal for now.  I trust everyone had a nice Thanksgiving and is finding a new week refreshing as we get back to “normal.”

So here’s how it went.  My appointment was at 3:30 and I didn’t see the doctor until 4:35.  When I did finally see him, I saw him for 40 minutes and was his last patient so he could feel free to calm down and spend some time with me.  Of which he did.  Have I told everyone how much I like this doctor? 

He wouldn’t even let me sit on the exam table.  He asked me to sit in the chair as all we were going to do was talk.  My blood pressure was back to normal (PTL) and Ruthie’s heartrate was 160.  I had only gained 5 pounds in the 7 weeks since I was last weighed which totals now 27 lbs total. 

He re-read my birthplan and only marked those items that he thought he would need to address.  First and foremost, he thought my plan was very reasonable.  After all, God is the creator of life and He didn’t need him for 95% of the deliveries.  It was a very natural thing and it works.  :)  So based on that, the only things that I needed to conceed on were the IV and the monitoring.  Now let me explain before hackles get raised. 

I only have to have a port for my IV.  I don’t have to be hooked up unless it is absolutely necessary if I am dehydrated.  He just wants to have easy access should anything go wrong.  I can handle this as I thought I would have to “give” on this one.  Monitoring.  He vocalized that continuous electronic fetal monitoring has given rise to the amount of C-sections and thus the only thing he wants me to do is to have it done every 15 minutes and even then I don’t have to be on my back, nor do I have to have the thing strapped on.  I just have to have it up against my belly through 2 contractions.  As long as the baby is responding well, I can continue to get up and stay mobile and upright.  :)  He also mentioned that he is very slow to cut and was very responsive to perineal massage and support. 

I asked him about the two pediatricians that I have appointments with and again, I was very pleased with what he said.  One is his kids doc and the other he birthed two of their kids.  They both are in the same practice and all vacinations in the practice are thermerasol free.  Both will work with me on delayed vacs and then he pointed that one tends to be where more of his “natural” patients go but he would recommend both and wouldn’t hesitate with either one.  So, I will keep both interviews and go based on my interactions with them.

One of the last concerns that I have had was whether or not I would be passed around to the other doctors in the practice during my last few appointments in the event that he is not on call when I go into labor.  He said that they don’t do that there as it disrupts the relationship that is created between the dr and the patient.  Say no more.  I was delighted.

At the close of the appointment, he took my hand and prayed with me regarding our plans for delivery, the health of Ruthie and I, and that God would annoint the steps that were to be taken.

So here is the prayer request.  He is on vacation the week of Christmas, returning on the 28th and then is considering a family camping trip the first week of January.  We need to pray that Ruthie is right on time, if not a day or two late.  I really want him to deliver her and if my family history proves anything, I will have a tendency to go early.  Furthermore, he reiterated to me yesterday that when he has a delivery at my hospital of choice, he abandons the office for the day.  All the better in my book.  So pray, pray, pray. 

All in all, my appointment was worth the wait.  My doctor is like gold.  There will be things that we need to take up with the nursery while we are there but he said every request that I had was very reasonable and shouldn’t be a problem.  He signed every page and every change we agreed to.  My plan will go to the hospital with him and I’ll have a copy with me as well. 

 

How blessed am I to work at a company who has not only a Thanksgiving program for the entire company, but one who also requests a Baptist minister to come speak unashamedly? 

This morning we had our annual Thanksgiving program.  The entire home office was brought to the cafeteria for an hour long program equipped with a invocation (by a very southern black lady), the Pledge of Allegiance, singing of God Bless America, a worship song done as special music, recognition of the Employee of the Year, and a quick speech by the President to announce that we would be receiving our annual Christmas Gift of $200 and our Annual Bonus to be determined by our annual reviews.  We also found out that we would be receiving the day after Christmas off as a company holiday as well.  The program was wrapped up with a message by my minister about Thanksgiving.  There is never any fear of calling upon the Lord in a prayer or fear that someone will be offended. Later today we will have a thanksgiving lunch completely on the company in our cafeteria. Having previously worked in an organization that played the politically correct game, this company is so refreshing and a delight to work for in that case. 

This week will prove to be a slow one.  We’ll work Monday - Wednesday.  Today was the Thanksgiving program and I’ll have my doctor’s appointment this afternoon.  Tuesday is a coworker’s retirement luncheon that we’ll all attend, and Wednesday I doubt will be a very focused day to top it off.  Most of the office working towards Annual Meeting which will be the first weekend of December.  I am not attending this year so all that I’m in charge of is working on the scripts for the general sessions.  I’m still working on the first general session with two more to come my way.  It’s a waiting game for me.

Joel went down to help his mom this weekend work a flea market so I stayed at home and nested.  I vacuumed, cleaned the bathroom, washed 4 loads of wash and folded each one, made peanut brittle, wrote thank you notes, cleaned the kitchen, posted 31 shoes on Ebay, and had my friends stop by to make sure they were on the up and up regarding taking care of my girls for this weekend.  Sunday afternoon we stopped by a friend’s house to see how they were doing a week out from having their baby.  We also took a short walk and went grocery shopping.  I washed baby clothes and put them away according to size and room available in the dresser while we watched a movie to close out our weekend.

I have two pediatrician appointments arranged for the first week in December and Joel and I will probably pre-register at the hospital around that same time as well.  We are going to try to get a tour of the L&D rooms while we are there as well.  I’ll probably call on that later today.  Sleeping is becoming more difficult as I’m finding my back is starting to bother me if I sleep on my side too much.  Not to mention the many trips to the bathroom and water breaks throughout the night.  I’m hoping the doctor will be able to distinguish her head and rear end to give me a better idea as to her positioning.  There is some comfort in knowing that she is head down already though I know that can change many times between now and birth day.

So.  That pretty much sums up the weekend for us.  It was busy and yet also very quiet which was greatly needed after the week we both had.  I’ll try to update everyone following my appointment this afternoon.

I hate the necessity of Erin’s job.

When we started out married she tried the stay-at-home thing but wanted… well, interaction. I can’t say that I blamed her. The idea of her with nothing to do all day seemed like a waste. Plus we couldn’t afford health insurance for her under my plan (small blessing looking back). So she took a low paying, “low stress” job. The quirks of that job could be contained because it wasn’t essential. She could walk away at any time.

I started hating her job the day I realized that I was probably never going to see another dime from Jim. Suddenly her job was no longer optional. It was all that was keeping us afloat. I remember the sick sinking feeling when the letters began to arrive stating that the insurance wouldn’t pay for the apnea surgery. I remember begging God for a job and considering working at fast food places just to make ends meet. I remember Erin saying that we shouldn’t panic and settle for less than God’s will.

In the back of my mind I have had to fight my own demons. The ones that say “You’ve failed. Your wife has to work. What kind of man has to have a wife that works? You’re not trying hard enough.” I hated the day that she got a new job making more than I did. I hated that she had benefits. I was an hourly wage slave with nothing. I was, and still am, mostly using her benefits. It’s still easy to be negative on the whole thing. And yet I am grateful for it for God provided that job as well. Far be it from me to call a blessing a curse.
What also should be remembered is the contract jobs that made ends meet. God literally dropped Scott into my lap and the projects he had were just enough. Even after tithing we never had to pay a bill late. Never. God fixed the insurance problem. God has given me a job that has been difficult at times but has been more rewarding than anything I could have imaged. If you had told me a year ago that i would write software that has done all it has I would have thought you were dreaming. God has put me into a company that’s 2 years old and doing better than anything I could have dared to hope for. I firmly believe that if I stay here long enough that my income should allow Erin to not work. I would not want her to HAVE to work ever again, regardless of whether or not we had children.

And yet I stare at the other path. I could probably take a job paying twice what I make now but it means working on weekends and probably being on call. It likely means 60-80 hour work weeks doing something I really don’t enjoy. I never got much time with my own father growing up. He worked 60-80 hours a week. He wasn’t often home when we were and was tired. I understand why he worked so long and hard but part of me still wishes there had been another way. I am not so inclined to do such a thing to my own children.
I’m also keenly aware that dumping Erin’s job on OUR timetable means economic ruin. Even stripping our budget down to the essentials (with no room for even saving extra money), we cannot live on my salary as it is now. God may very well choose to bless me down the road where I am but He has not done so now (and is almost maddeningly silent on the issue at present). To think of it brings up images of Jesus standing on the roof of the Temple with the Devil himself saying “Throw yourself down and angels will save you! For isn’t it written so?”. But it’s a half truth. God doesn’t tell people to kick rocks so he can move them out of the way. He isn’t saying “Jump blindly and I’ll catch you, even if I’ve not told you to jump”. So why would I tell my wife to quit her job, knowing full well we will be in financial ruin if she does? It’s not a matter of faith, it’s a matter of pragmatism. I have told God if He wants me to change jobs or move that I will do so. He gave us the house and the job (and even Ruthie) and I know full well He can take it away when He pleases (a tornado ripped through town yesterday so I am freshly reminded of that). So I am not going to jump off the temple because books and people say I should. I am not going to listen to that whelp of a demon, who must be hoarse by now, saying “You’re a failure”. Why? Because it’s God’s will, not mine. If God demands that we sacrifice seeing Ruthie rolling over or any other number of little firsts then so be it. If discomfort now means less painful lessons down the road I’m game. He knows where our hearts are and He’s not surprised by any of this. I just need some peace with the whole thing so I can stop getting in the way.

It was beautiful and a sea of estrogen filled the air as the ladies at work readied the conference room for the baby shower. With mom on her way into town for the weekend, I was too excited to do much work.  The ladies wouldn’t let me into the room and everyone was talking about ”The Cake.”  It took me a while before I even found out who made “The Cake.” Someone finally told me that it was Faye, my cake class cohort who did her finest craftsmanship on my shower cake.

Around 10:30 mom arrived and the introductions began.  The Federation has roughly 70 employees and we all tend to be a little like a family.  Disfunctional at times but for the most part, watching out for everyone.  I don’t know if mom was quite prepared for what she had just walked into as many times later she would comment about how she wasn’t expecting what she experienced.

11:00, I finally wrangled my way into the room with a hostess gift in hand and the excuse of “I have my mom with me” in tow.  I couldn’t have imagined a more beautiful setting for my baby shower.  It surprised me as well and I’ve seen the decorating ability of those around here before.  The conference table was drapped in white cloth with a pink pooled cloth  on top.  In the center was a 30 year old baby carriage with silver rattles and spoons hanging from it.  Silver cups held small tight bouquets of flowers while tall candle sticks were strung together with pink ribbon.  A clothes line was on one wall with baby clothes of every sort being “hung out to dry.”  At the end of the table was “The cake.”  White with pink bows on the corner, a pink fondant doile in the middle with a pair of white fondant booties in the center, it was flanked with porcelain white booties as well.  A Honey Baked Ham was at the end of the table that I had to restrain myself from completely drooling over.  The side table was overloaded with gifts and the floor held those that didn’t fit.

People arrived around 11:30 and took their places.  I quickly ate, or rather, they rushed me through my meal, and I immediately began to open gifts.  I couldn’t open them fast enough.  Forget looking intently at the detail in the garments or the cuteness of one item.  Open and go was my mantra.  My lap seemed to shrink as I needed it more and thus the ladies hosting the shower held gifts for me as I dug through the bags and boxes.  Among the “loot” I received was, a silver spoon, a locket from one of the nicest jewelry stores in town (I’m amazed!), clothes beyond belief, the crib bedding, a $250 spa gift certificate, 4 stuffed frogs, blankets, gift cards, the bucket carrier, a piggy bank, and very few diapers.  Two hours later, the shower came to a close and I was exhausted.

I showed mom around the building while the ladies cleaned up and then loaded up the cars.  When we finally arrived home, it took about 2 hours just to sort through the gifts, put away the gift wrapping, take care of the trash, etc.  4:30 came and we were exhausted.  Mom was in disbelief of the overwhelming support I had received from my coworkers, including the president of the company.  I think in reality, I too was in a little bit of disbelief.  After all, the night before I had thought that I would get a lot of diapers and nothing that I really needed.  Most of the ladies from the Federation came and the men even stayed.  Some of the nicest gifts that I received came from the men. 

The next day, shower number two was to be held.  This one was for family and friends locally.  I had invited a few out of town guests that I thought would appreciate and invite but I really was unsure as to what to expect when it came down to it.  I had three college friends come down, several extended family members of Joel’s attend, and then a few friends locally.  All in all, there were about 20 people there.  What I found so neat was that just about every stage of my life was represented by at least one person. 

Gifts were again plentiful.  This time I received toys, diapers, a diaper bag with her name embroidered on it, more clothes, my sling, and bath supplies.  By noon, we left with the car full and headed home to unload.  Sarah stayed through Sunday while the other friends went on home which was okay as I was so tired.  We dilly dallied around the house a bit, ate lunch and then headed out to Rosemont Gardens to check out the store’s open house and then to the Paper Store to check out birth announcements.  Our day closed with pizza and My Fair Lady.  9:30 was bed time of which we all needed so desperately. 

Sunday morning I had what is beginning to be a favorite of mine.  Coffee with mom.  I’ve often enjoyed having coffee with my parents on our visits home.  It is never planned, it just sort of happens and is beginning to be a time that I look forward to and time that I will look back on with fond memories. Quiet one on one time feeds my family sick soul.  Mom left for home shortly thereafter so Sarah and I worked on putting the gifts away and packing larger clothes away to make way for smaller ones.  By noon, she left too leaving Joel and I to veg for the first time all weekend. 

We had a fabulous time this weekend and I was so blessed by the support of those that came and those that sent theirs in their absence.  My little girl is going to be well loved when she arrives, of this I’m sure.  She’ll definitely be a diva with a new outfit every day.  We still need a few big things but for the most part, we now feel more ready for her to make her grand entrance and anticipate it a little more each day.  Our friends just had their little boy and a trip to the hospital to see them made things a little more real for us both. 

 I will try to post a few pictures tonight when I get home so everyone can see scenes from the shower. 

I’m finding that the longer I live in the True South, the more assimilated I’m becoming.  Good thing???  I’m not really sure.
The other evening I had a quick passing thought that a hot cereal would be good for breakfast the next morning.  It’s been a little cool the past few nights and the thought of warm Cream of Wheat or Oatmeal sounded fabulous. I pushed the thought aside and went to bed.

The following morning I was a little bit later than what I had hoped and oatmeal wasn’t on the agenda.  Cream of Wheat wasn’t either because I didn’t have any.  Grits were out of the question.  I’m a northern bird and we like our Cream of Wheat hands down over grits any day.  I had my bowl of puffed millet with fruit bits and proceeded to work.

By 9:30, my craving for hot cereal hadn’t gone away.  I was hungry again which was odd because the millet has been holding me until lunch time most days with the occasional granola bar for a snack.  I headed to the cafeteria hoping they would have some instant oatmeal.  None.  Grits were the only thing they had.  I got a bowl, filled it to the top with cheese grits and proceeded to my desk.  There, I ate the entire bowl!  I couldn’t believe it.  My fix was satiated and so was my stomach.

So thus, I’m convinced that this is one of “pregnancy” things that you’ve just got to have whether you liked it before you got pregnant or not.  I don’t think it will become a regular item on my plate, but I do think that I won’t be so picky if they find their way to my plate erroneously again.  And who knows, as the winter progresses, that might be a descent morning breakfast substitute if I don’t have time to make something at home.

The other item that I’m slowing trying to learn to like is greens.  I figure the more vitamin K that I can get now, the less likely the hospital will be able to say that I haven’t provided enough for my baby and thus want to give her a vitamin K shot upon birth.  So each Thursday, I buy some greens from the cafeteria to supplement my lunch.  Most of the time they turn  out to be collard greens.  By the time that I get to cafe, the pepper sauce is gone, so I eat them as they are.  Not my favorite, but definitely tolerable.  Last weekend while at Cracker Barrel I ordered some and they were awful.  This week the cafe had turnip greens which were okay but were not the same as the standard collards.

Now I don’t know that I’ll take the time to make these at home as I’ve heard they stink up a house something fierce.  And I know that the black woman in the cafeteria has learned to make these the correct way from her upbringing so trying to mimic her methods, most likely won’t pan out for this northern bird.  And I also have been told that just preparing greens to be cooked takes forever and a day with something like 5 washings of the greens. I think I’ll stick to the cafe’s greens for now.

I’ve lived here for 3 years and parts of me have been assimilated.  Others haven’t.  I do not like Cracklin Cornbread.  I don’t understand having tasteless cornbread with beans or greens just to have it get soggy, and I don’t understand having grits with shrimp or catfish.  Blech!!!

There are just somethings, whether pregnant or not, that don’t sound appealing.